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第二书包网 > 北方与南方 > 第142章 CHAPTER XVI THE JOURNEYS END (3)

第142章 CHAPTER XVI THE JOURNEYS END (3)

the little fellow repeated a methodist hymn, far above his

prehension in point of language, but of which the swinging rhythmhad caught his ear, and which he repeated with all the developedcadence of a member of parliament. when margaret had dulyapplauded, nicholas called for another, and yet another, much to hersurprise, as she found him thus oddly and unconsciously led to take aninterest in the sacred things which he had formerly scouted.

it was past the usual tea-time when she reached home; but she had thefort of feeling that no one had been kept waiting for her; and ofthinking her own thoughts while she rested, instead of anxiouslywatching another person to learn whether to be grāve or gay. after teashe resolved to examine a large packet of letters, and pick out those thatwere to be destroyed.

among them she came to four or five of mr. henry lennox\"s, relatingto frederick\"s affairs; and she carefully read them over again, with thesole intention, when she began, to ascertain exactly on how fine achance the justification of her brother hung. but when she had finishedthe last, and weighed the pros and cons, the little personal revelation ofcharacter contained in them forced itself on her notice. it was evidentenough, from the stiffness of the wording, that mr. lennox had neverforgotten his relation to her in any interest he might feel in the subjectof the correspondence. they were clever letters; margaret saw that in atwinkling; but she missed out of them all hearty and genial atmosphere.

they were to be preserved, however, as valuable; so she laid themcarefully on one side. when this little piece of business was ended, shefell into a reverie; and the thought of her absent father ran strangely inmargaret\"s head this night. she almost blamed herself for hāving felt hersolitude (and consequently his absence) as a relief; but these two dayshad set her up afresh, with new strength and brighter hope. plans whichhad lately appeared to her in the guise of tasks, now appeared likepleasures. the morbid scales had fallen from her eyes, and she saw herposition and her work more truly. if only mr. thornton would restoreher the lost friendship,--nay, if he would only e from time to time tocheer her father as in former days,--though she should never see him,she felt as if the course of her future life, though not brilliant inprospect, might lie clear and even before her. she sighed as she rose upto go to bed. in spite of the \"one step\"s enough for me,\"--in spite of theone plain duty of devotion to her father,--there lay at her heart ananxiety and a pang of sorrow.

and mr. hale thought of margaret, that april evening, just as strangelyand as persistently as she was thinking of him. he had been fatigued bygoing about among his old friends and old familiar places. he had hadexaggerated ideas of the change which his altered opinions might makein his friends\" reception of him; but although some of them might hāve

felt shocked or grieved or indignant at his falling off in the abstract, assoon as they saw the face of the man whom they had once loved, theyforgot his opinions in himself; or only remembered them enough to givean additional tender grāvity to their manner. for mr. hale had not beenknown to many; he had belonged to one of the smaller colleges, and hadalways been shy and reserved; but those who in youth had cared topenetrate to the delicacy of thought and feeling that lay below hissilence and indecision, took him to their hearts, with something of theprotecting kindness which they would hāve shown to a woman. and therenewal of this kindliness, after the lapse of years, and an interval of somuch change, overpowered him more than any roughness or expressionof disapproval could hāve done.

\"i\"m afraid we\"ve done too much,\" said mr. bell. \"you\"re suffering nowfrom hāving lived so long in that milton air.

\"i am tired,\" said mr. hale. \"but it is not milton air. i\"m fifty-five yearsof age, and that little fact of itself accounts for any loss of strength.\"

\"nonsense! i\"m upwards of sixty, and feel no loss of strength, eitherbodily or mental. don\"t let me hear you talking so. fifty-five! why,you\"re quite a young man.\"

mr. hale shook his head. \"these last few years!\" said he. but after aminute\"s pause, he raised himself from his half recumbent position, inone of mr. bell\"s luxurious easy-chairs, and said with a kind oftrembling earnestness:

\"bell! you\"re not to think, that if i could hāve foreseen all that woulde of my change of opinion, and my resignation of my living--no!

not even if i could hāve known how she would hāve suffered,--that iwould undo it--the act of open acknowledgment that i no longer heldthe same faith as the church in which i was a priest. as i think now,even if i could hāve foreseen that cruellest martyrdom of suffering,through the sufferings of one whom i loved, i would hāve done just thesame as far as that step of openly leāving the church went. i might hāvedone differently, and acted more wisely, in all that i subsequently didfor my family. but i don\"t think god endued me with over-muchwisdom or strength,\" he added, falling hack into his old position.

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